Desire for Growth

First of all, its been forever since I have posted something.  I think about it a lot, but have been ummm distracted with life! I feel like this post will be different than others in the past.  In my past posts I try to have a theme and write with the best of my ability.  Today I am tired.  So tired, physically and emotionally, and I am sure in other ways too!  Being a mom to preschoolers is so hard!  I don”t want this to be a ”cry-fest” or a self pity party, but its going to turn into that.  Everyday I wake up and the same thing fills my day.  Trying to respond quickly and fast to the demands being thrown at me.  The whining, the crying, the messes, the snacks, the discontentment, the laundry, the constant runny noses and the ongoing colds, the dishes, the meals, the diapers and the list goes on!  I feel like my household is going crazy and I feel out of control lately.  I try to blame it on things like our house is too small and there is limited space to play and live, or we can”t spend enough time outside cause its not yet nice enough be out for super long periods of time.  Or maybe the problem is that Braeden doesn”t walk yet and that is why he is so discontent.  Or maybe the problem is that Brooklynn gets up to early in the morning and doesn”t get enough sleep.  I seem to find many problems and complain or whine to my husband.  My husband is amazing and does encourage me, he does.  I am so thankful for that.  But I know it comes down to my relationship with my Lord.  What can I say…it lacks.  But then again I want to blame that on my busy, child filled life!  I know that I can find time to spend with my ever-loving and caring Father.  My spiritual life is evident in my day to day responses and attitudes.  I need Jesus to renew and fill my life with the fruits of the Spirit.  I desire so badly to raise my children the correct way.  I desire with all my heart that they will come to know the God that I know and follow and serve him fervently!  And as it stands now, I believe, my love for Jesus is not shining through to them as much as it should be.  Things need to change around here…we need peace in our household.  I read a devotional the other day, and walked away with this – “Don”t be misled-you cannot mock the justice of God.  You will always harvest what you plant” Galatians 6:7.  My children are my garden and I need to be very conscientious of what I plant into their lives, so that a great harvest willed  be reaped of their lives!  Today will be my first, new day of being very conscientious of that.  I will try to be disciplined in my walk with the Lord so that He will shine through my life to my children.

Carma